Mike Royko Analysis: Chicagoans don’t put ketchup on dogs

Something I was completely clueless about until I read Royko’s column Even a U.S. Senator Can Botch a Recipe for Success. Whatever you do, do not order a hot dog with ketchup when you’re visiting Chicago.

Quite frankly, you might as well order your dog with nothing on it. Because, if you even think about ketchup during that moment of time the “hotdog expert” is perfecting your Chicago dog they might as well spit on it.

Why do I say this? Because Royko’s column expresses the unholy satire of ordering ketchup with your dog.

For example:

“The flaws are so obvious that by now those with civilized, discriminating Chicago taste buds
are snorting and sneering and flinging this shameful recipe to the floor and spitting on it.”

Mike Royko

My point exactly. If you are a true Chicagoan, then the “Chicago hot dog: Vienna beef hot dog, poppy seed bun, dill pickle, jalapeños, relish, mustard, ketchup. Place dog in bun. Cover with jalapeños, relish, mustard, and ketchup. Serve with dill pickle” is an abomination.

Royko does a great job of slamming Chicagos Senator, specifically because she claims to be a true Chicagoan. Although, anyone in their right mind would never dress a dog like pictured above.

A perfect conclusion to the column includes this:

“I’m sure Senator Moseley-Braun has the usual excuse: Someone on her staff did it.”

Mike Royko

But Chicagoans don’t care about that. They care that they have a United States senator,
“allegedly representing Chicago and the rest of Illinois—even the Downstate yokels—and she
shames herself and the rest of us by displaying her ignorance of what makes a hot dog a true
Chicago hot dog.”

Royko simply informs his readers that he would not be voting for Senator Moseley-Braun again due to her insensitivity towards the classical Chicago dog. Something a true Chicagoan should be fully aware of, no matter who wrote it for her.